Why is it so fucking hard to forget someone? When i finally think that im in a good place, he pops into my head. like whyy. Stop showing up in my dreams. I really can’t handle it. Clearly none of my wishes ever come true. Because i’m still not happy. Its been how many months? 5? and i still dont’ know what happiness is anymore. If anyone can explain happiness to me, please go right ahead. 
Honestly, i feel like i’m not allowed to be happy. Nothing good ever happens to me. When i’m finally happy with my life, everything is taken away from me. How is that fair at all? Life really blows. And i hate living a life thats filled with sadness and emptiness. What if i really am never happy again??? ……